


achievement hunters

by cheshiire



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gabriel Reyes [Mentioned], Insinuated that everyone's there, M/M, Mercy is a literal angel, Multi, Winston [Mentioned], everyone's drunk except Mercy, it's just for shits and giggles, its literally about Jesse and the reader banging all the old members of OW, its not meant to be taken seriously, this is also mostly crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 20:13:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7771579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheshiire/pseuds/cheshiire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse and the reader have a reputation that's best to confront when drunk as all fuck.</p>
<p>"achievement hunters" - aka a rivalry to see who could sleep with the most members of overwatch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	achievement hunters

You assumed it started when the drinks came out, although you were a bit too tipsy to be certain.

You were sprawled against McCree, completely undignified, with his hat thrown unceremoniously on your face and his arm resting across your shoulders. Your feet were in Soldier 76’s lap and you knew if he was sober, you would have probably had another cybernetic prosthetic to add to the collection. The group were spread out throughout the living room and Mercy, god bless her heart, was desperately trying to keep you all under control.

She wasn’t particularly successful.

And like every time the group of you got together to drink, stories were passed around eagerly.

It seemed today’s target was you and Jesse and your … reputation as, well, “achievement hunters”, as it had been dubbed.

“So,” Hana leaned forward eagerly, “’s it true what they say?”

“Wha’?” Jesse managed to slur, his accent heavier than when he was sober.

You barely raised Jesse’s hat from where he’d placed it on your head, before murmuring, “yeah wha’ tha’ fuck you talkin’ about?” Ok, so maybe you were slightly more than ‘tipsy’.

“Y’know, the _thing_.” Hana’s voice had dropped to a conspiratorial whisper.

“There’s a lot of _things_ , darlin’, tha’ you could be talkin’ about.” Jesse replied and god you could almost _feel_ his smirk.

Lucio leaned over the back of the couch to pipe up with a helpful, “your reputations, cowboy and cowgirl.”

You lifted Jesse’s hat to give Lucio a look. “Firs’ off, I ain’t no cowgirl-” everyone snickered at your adamant refusal, despite how your accent was much alike to McCree’s, “- and second of all, you’re gon’ have to be more specific.”

“I think they mean our younger days, lil darlin’.” Jesse mumbled with a laugh, and _oh_.

“Don’t you ‘lil darlin’’ me, mister mcfuckboy.” You jabbed a finger into his side. “Ya stole all my greatest hunts.”

Jesse was unabashedly grinning down at you, everyone watching with curiosity [excluding Mercy, who had already resigned herself with horror, head in her hands]. “Ain’t my fault Morrison liked it up the ass, sweetheart.”

Hana shrieked at this new information and Lucio almost fell off the couch. Soldier 76 started, and you had to fight down a grin. No-one but Winston, Reinhardt, Jesse, Mercy and yourself knew about 76 being Jack, and fortunately for him, only the latter three were present. And they really didn’t want to be the one facing a pulse rifle in the morning.

Fighting to keep the charade going, you growled a “fuck you” as you emphasised it with a jab to his chest.

Oh and _boy,_ wasn’t Jesse willing to play along. “Darlin’, you know you’ve already done that.”

At this, the grin that had been threatening to reveal itself danced across your features. “Yeah, and from wha’ I remember, ya have a mighty fine tongue and ya know how to use it.” You barely noticed the dark flush sent across Mercy’s face, because _oh god this was not what she signed up for_.

“Only tha best for you, sweetheart.” And everyone caught the wink that he sent you before you smacked him upside the head with a barely accurate drunken swing.

“So it is true!” Hana was almost begging you two for more information and both Jesse and you were sent into fits of laughter.

“Yeah, lil girl, we were the real rootin, tootin achievement hunters.” You sent Hana a couple of finger guns, before tumbling back into a set of drunken giggles. Jesse joined your giggle fit soon after.

“So you slept with _everyone_ back in the day?” This was from Genji and just hearing the phrase from his mouth brought a whole other barrage of giggles and laughter to your lips once more.

“Boy howdy, we sure did.” McCree answered through his own chuckles, because you were too busy wheezing from laughter to answer yourself.

A barrage of questions, and you couldn’t quite tell what was from who. You could even see that 76 had grumbled something into the cacophony of noise. Fareeha looked absolutely horrified, and you knew that it was because she had realised you had probably slept with her mother. You nudged Jesse with a shit-eating grin on your face. “Didja ever think you could get this many people interested in your sex life, McCree?”

A combination of a flush and a warm-hearted laugh flowed from Jesse. “Didn’t need ta test it, darlin’. I already knew they were interested.” He sent another wink down to you and you spluttered through a laugh.

“Dontcha start now, McCree, we ain’t bringin’ up that rivalry once more.”

He pouted, before everyone quieted down, catching the last part of your sentence. Lucio was the one to comment on it. “Wait, what? Rivalry?”

You grinned, and a few members did a double take. Your smile was downright _salacious_. “Of course there was a rivalry, Lucio. Someone’s gotta knock McCree down a few pegs.”

Jesse looked so _affronted_ and it took all your effort not to laugh. “’Scuse me, darlin’, but can I remind you who _won_ that rivalry?”

You paused, licking your lips as you leaned in to whisper [not quite reaching the level of quietness you had intended]. “Di’nt Mercy tell ya?” You grinned, and eyes darted towards the Doc who was flushing bright red as she hid her face away from everyone. Why wouldn’t you _shut up_. You giggled. “We had such a fun night together. Shame you couldn’ta been there, _Jesse_.” Mercy had glanced back just to notice you had _licked your goddamn lips._ Why had she agreed to this again?

Jesse’s eyes were wide and he looked comically hurt. “Darlin’, why didn’t you tell me?” He dramatically placed his hand to his heart. “And here I thought you were lackin’ in charm. I musta taught you well.” He wiped away a fake tear and you both broke down into hysterical giggles.

There was a pause before Hanzo muttered to Genji, almost too quietly to notice, “does everyone mean the gorilla, too?” There was a pregnant pause before everyone’s horrified eyes, including 76’s and Mercy’s, turned towards you and Jesse. You both eyed each other, wondering how you were going to get out of this one.

“Um.”

“Ah.” That was Jesse.

“Well.”

“To be honest-”

“I mean if we want ta be pedantic about it-”

“To be fair, we never said if we enjoyed it-”

“Shut up Jesse of course ya enjoyed it-”

“You can’t talk, darlin’, you did it first if I believe rightly-”

“Of course I did it first; I was braggin’ about it for days-”

Your bickering was bringing more horrified stares, before Zenyatta mumbled, still very drunk, “I don’t think tranquillity can help me now.” You grinned sheepishly and McCree had the common sense to duck his head away, flushed red.

However, things didn’t last long before you piped up with, “ok so I may have slept with the gorilla, but holy _fuck_ Captain Reyes had the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.” Everyone was sent into an uproar again and both you and McCree noticed the _very_ dark flush that flew across 76’s features. Jesse was very adamantly agreeing with your statement, slurred words of “tha’ was a good night” and “nearly split me open he did” passing through his lips.

Mercy ran a fine hand through her hair and stood, deciding to end this before you got any further [there were some things that the crew _really_ did not need to know – the girth of the former captain of Blackwatch was one of them]. She seized you both by the ears and with a yelp, you both scrambled after her as she dragged you through the corridors of the watchpoint, before unceremoniously dumping you outside the dorms.

“Now, you two are to rest. No more smoking,” she lay a heavy stare on McCree at this, “no more drinking”, that was directed at you, “and for god’s sake please don’t go testing out all your stories.” She ran a hand down her face in exasperation. “Just let me have one night of peace.”

You grinned at her. “Ay, ay cap’n.” You managed a weak salute, giggling too much as you leaned on McCree for it to have much effect. Mercy breathed a sigh and left you standing outside your rooms as she wandered back to deal with the others.

Jesse turned to you, a scandalous grin on his features. “Whaddya say we bend those rules a bit, darlin’?” A wink and god knew that you were down for anything your cowboy would suggest.

The door to your room slamming shut echoed down the corridors and Mercy rubbed a hand over her face. _Of course._

Well, you had just shared details with the team. What did it matter if they heard it for themselves?

**Author's Note:**

> Voíla! Literally just crack - might add more if requested, but I just wanted some cheap laughs with Jesse because there's not enough with my precious son. This wasn't proof read, so go easy if you want to give crit. But comments are more than welcome. Love y'all.


End file.
